Given my extreme history of pregnancy loss, this stress is significantly more real and palpable to me. Every ache, cramp, and abnormality is journaled and reported back to my doctor for investigation. Even after a heartbeat has been detected, my chances of losing the pregnancy are closer to the 13-17% mark than they are to the 4%.
So you can understand why I was devasted yesterday when I had the first episode of 'breakthrough bleeding' since week 6. It wasn't a lot, and there was no pain, but- generally speaking- blood isn't usually a good sign. Not at 6 weeks and not at 11 weeks.
I called my doctor and- surprise, surprise- he put me on bedrest and told me that there wasn't much we could do except wait and see if it got worse. There are only so many early ultrasounds they can give me, and if we jumped at every sign of trouble I would literally live in the hospital.
But, this answer just didn't suit my needs. I am not great at the waiting game. I need more of a sense of control, even if it's artificial.
So I went out and rented myself this: The Elite Doppler System
It's my very own, at home, medical grade doppler. This baby is super-powered to help me listen to my little bub's heartbeat any time I want.
I'm kind of a pro at this, since I spent a lot of time with a doppler when I was pregnant with Sammie, but it still took me a few
And all of sudden, all the fear and the stress seemed to melt away completely...at least for tonight.
There are a few times in life where money really can buy happiness.
Happiness for me is peace of mind...the kind that only comes through the 'doppler effect'.
Time to go have another listen. Goodnight y'all.
This blog is part of the 2012 Summer Blog Challenge (31 posts in 31 days). To follow along with my fellow writers, visit their blogs: