Sunday, September 1, 2013

Day 12: On reason, seasons and lifetimes

Last night, my fellow Summer Blog Challenge participant and a woman that I admire a great deal despite my few interactions with her, posted an exceedingly insightful and sad post about friendships ending. (You can read it here: )

Since read it last night, I haven't been able to shake it from my spirit. You see, over the past year, I too have lived the same experience of watching a few friendships absent themselves into oblivion. Most of these had no "cause" per say. Our journeys just reached forks in the road that took us in vastly different, even oppositional, directions.

Simultaneously, I have seen myself drawn closer into relationships with women that I would never have predicted would mesh with me.

They say for every door that closes, a window opens...

This has made me really reflect on the nature of friendship. Why and how do we come to choose the people we give our hearts to? Why and how do these relationshios evolve, either in drawing closer or being pushed apart? How do we know when to "let go" and when to fight to hold on? And what of those people that you see only infrequently, but who nonetheless command a loyalty and love so deep that time and distance can not divide them?

I admit, I have been disproportionately blessed with wonderful friends in my life. Most of my close friends have journeyed with me for a decade or more. They have laughed with me, cried with me, grieved with me, and grown with me. They are parts of my heart and of my soul.

But, like everyone I am sure, I have had my share of transient friends, moving like nomads in and out of my life. Some leave forever, some drift back and forth before fading away entirely.

Each has brought sadness, but less than I would have originally predicted. What I have learned is that friendship is not a stable concept. Each relationship in our life is in a constant state of flux. We grow and change, and hope that those we love will grow and change in ways that continue to complement us.

And when they don't?

Well, just because a door is closed doesn't mean it is locked forever. Characters in the story of our lives appear and disappear so as to help us move forward in our own personal plot. This is critical to our development as human beings. As painful as it may be, it is important.

I was once told a quote- by whom, I wish I could recall- that sums this up perfectly.

In our lives, there are three types of people. Those who are there for a reason. Those who are there for a seasonAnd those who are there for a lifetime.

Each type is equally valuable- but recognizing the difference saves us from a great deal of heart ache.

I am grateful for all the people who have shared my journey. And for those who have fallen distant along the years, tonight I raise my glass to you, for it was you who helped make me the person that I am. I hope you cup also overflows with 'lifetime' friends.

Good night!
Mama Zita

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