It's supposed to be "ajar", closed only temporarily, but the truth is that we never really know what will happen with closed doors.
Today, in a way, I bid farewell to the project that has been dominating my attention for two years.
Although I still have paperwork and transition documents to clean up, for some reason today felt more final than any other day. It was my last "work appearance" for what will be at least 65 weeks.
I do have a few meetings to attend, none of these feel quite the same as what I did yesterday.
Yesterday, I said goodbye to the vendors of the farmers market.
Some I said goodbye to over the phone. Many I sent emails to personally. Others, I was privileged to get to say goodbye in person. But, no matter what the medium, the message was the same.
So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, good night...
Many of these faces have been with me since the start. Many will be there when I return. But for some reason, it feels 'heavy' just the same.
And with this heaviness comes the realization that my life is truly, and forever more, going to change dramatically very soon.
My days of being a full time 'work at home' mom are drawing to an end. With two young children to watch, I simply won't be able to justify the long hours spent at a computer any longer. I've learned that you really can only do one, maybe two things well at any given time. I am choosing wife and mother. It's an easy choice.
I know that my career will be there waiting for me when I do decide to return, whether that be after my mat leave or further down the road. It will be dusty and in definite need of reconstruction and tender loving care, but the truth is that the knowledge, the experience and the skills I have acquired aren't going away. They are simply going to sleep. And when they wake up, rusty as they might be, they will be ready for me.
And hopefully, I'll be more ready too. Renewed. Once again passionate. Once again engaged.
In the meanwhile, I'm going to focus everything I have and everything I am into the only career choice that has ever really mattered to me: raising my children and caring for my family.
And I am thankful for the opportunity.
Word Count: 409
This is post is part of the October Thanksgiving Challenge. I will post a new Thank You blog post every day during the month of October. I encourage you to follow Kevin, the mastermind of this challenge at www.kevinolenick.wordpress.com and fellow blogger Natasha at www.naturalurbanmamas.com. And, if you're up to it, consider doing your own challenge, big or small, to remind yourself to focus on the many blessings in your life. I've also added a slight 'writing' component to this month's challenge: No posts are to exceed 500 words.