The original post is one that argues that all people are capable of harming their children if they are pushed too hard by stress in life. It uses the case of Kelli Stapleton and argues that Stapleton's story should serve as a reminder to us all that we are all capable of 'breaking' and committing equally horrible acts in moments of hopelessness and desperation like what the author claims Kelli Stapleton experienced. This claim is not substantiated by any research or facts.
I am Jeffrey Dahmer.
And you are too.
If you think you're safe, if you think you are above succumbing to the insanity of mass murder and rape, you're wrong.
Mental illness, (in this case 'borderline personality disorder') does not discriminate. Life circumstances don't discriminate. We are ALL wired to break if given the wrong circumstances. (And when we break, we are capable of any amount of evil. Rape, murder, necrophelia....even filicide...) When you are given more than you can mentally handle- and it doesn't have to be the social isolation, tension and abuse Dahmer suffered as a young child with one parent who was a a suicidal drug addict, and another who was a hardly present workaholic- the brain chooses dissociating over enduring the reality that is too hard to battle.
Some things are just too much.
In the years since Jeffrey Dahmer (which include the vast majority of my life experiences), I've battled my own depression. My own mental illness. This awful (terrible, incomprehensible, soul shattering? - there is no word for it) American tragedy has forced me to recognize that if one person can be a serial killer, anyone can. I could be.
That is terrifying.
In writing a lot about mental health issues, I've encountered many other mothers, fathers, and caregivers that find themselves in Jeffrey Dahmer. That see how things can go so awfully wrong. It's not one week that breaks the backs of those who carry loads too heavy, it's a lifetime of little things, big things, sad things (like the ongoing child neglect and social isolation that Dahmer lived), ...it adds up to a weight that too many crumble under, that too many could crumble under.
So what do we do now? What have we learned from Dahmer's crimes? How do we move forward in a world where we are all one step away from mass murder?
For me, it's finding my voice. It's saying what is the most painful even when I know it's putting entirely too much out there (I mean, really- who tells the world that they feel a strong connection to a child killer?) It's not standing silent in the fact of those who are foaming at the mouth to vilify me (because the death of children is clearly all about me) and anyone else who speaks anything contrary to the idea that killing children is a total understandable thing to do when you've lived a tough life.
It's speaking the truth of what I believe too many of us parents and caregivers experience, but are too afraid to say: My life sucks too much sometimes. I should kill people.
Sure, we could be offered all the mental health support, therapy, medication and even- heaven forbid, intervention with removal of all vulnerable children from our care- but selfishness seeps in. Being overly self-involved and unable to see that my child's life is not actually mine to control or end does things to a person that cannot always be predicted.
It's also getting help. Well, sort of. Because if you refuse the help and go one to kill a bunch of kids, that's ok too...
It's getting on medication and bleeding in front of you in any damn forum where people will listen to my martyrdom and to my therapists (which I refused...because again, the whole not wanting help thing is pretty big on the selfishness scale).
It's saying, "Today is too much, I need your help." and not apologizing for it. (Or not asking. Because if you don't, it's ok. We get it. We understand that refusing help is a completely natural thing to do. Even if it means that you are going to kill babies.)
But I still get it wrong. I would like to believe that I have all the answers- or even just the ONE answer ("Are you going to kill your child? No.") But the questions change too quickly to keep up (or they don't, and I just want to not answer it).
What I face today will be vastly different from what I face a month from now. And that might be really tough for me. So if I start killing children, I hope you'll show me some empathy.
There are no easy answers. (Except "Killing kids is wrong." But let's not talk about that one.)
There is only honesty. (Or what I want to project as honesty, while completely evading 90% of the facts)
Have the courage to ask for help (if you want.) And have the courage not ask to help too, because that's your right. (Dahmer didn't for help...neither did Stapleton)
Have the courage to throw a fit and cry and get it all out (on the internets, where everyone in the world can share in your misery and raise you to hero status...just like Jeffrey Dahmer.)
Have the courage to do whatever it takes to take care of yourself (even kill your children) so that you can take care of your children (wait- I thought this entire post was about the fact that even if you do all the right things, you are STILL just like a child killer and don't have the right to judge or say that you would never hurt your children because you NEVER KNOW WHEN IT WILL BE YOU???)
Because, in the end, if someone like Jeffrey Dahmer could break, anyone can.
Even me. Even You.
This post is a parody of another post that I will not direct-link here, but may be required reading for context. If you would like to read it, please use this link: http://www.donotlink.com/framed?557651
The original post is one that argues that all people are capable of harming their children if they are pushed too hard by stress in life. It uses the case of Kelli Stapleton and argues that Stapleton's story should serve as a reminder to us all that we are all capable of 'breaking' and committing equally horrible acts in moments of hopelessness and desperation like what the author claims Kelli Stapleton experienced. This claim is not substantiated by any research or facts.
