It's been three months since I've written a blog post.
It's not because I'm lazy.
It's not because I forgot.
It's not even because I couldn't find the time...Trust me, I had nothing but time over the past few weeks.
Told simply, it's because I needed a break. A break from social media. A break from debate. A break from deep thoughts and a break from sharing all of these deep thoughts with the entire world.
I'm a pretty intensely private person who truly struggles with the expectations of social media. How much do I share? How often? To whom?
I wonder "why" we share what we share. What is the purpose? Is it to involve others in our lives? Is it to show others what we have in our lives? Is it because we feel like we are supposed to?
And where do we draw the line?
I think some people natural know where the line is. They are better able to determine their boundaries and to create walls to protect themselves from the vitriol that can overtake the social media arena.
I've never been good at moderation.
I'm either all in or all out.
It might have something to do with my Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder. (I don't say this tongue-in-cheek...I've actually been diagnosed with this, and it's something I struggle with every day. I just don't really talk about it.)
So, for the most part, I've been all out. And it's been good. But now I'm ready to test myself and see if I can learn moderation. I want to see if I can go back to a healthy online interaction without feeling overwhelmed, vulnerable and stressed.
I want to learn to swim before I dive in with the sharks.
So it will be baby steps.
Shorts posts, conversations, interactions.
I will choose my topics.
I will censor my reactions.
And I will learn to control my online world, before it once again begins to control me.