Make up post: Thanksgiving Challenge #14: Hard to find the words...

By the time last night rolled around, I found it extremely hard to find anything to be grateful for.  Despite having had a beautiful day, and a near perfect weekend, our family was handed some shocking and sad news that completely consumed my thoughts and my attention for the remainder of the night.

I was too sad to be thankful.

But I wasn't too sad to be prayerful.

In moments of despair and tragedy, when I have no where else to turn, I turn to God. His love and support have gotten me through more than I ever could have handled on my own.

So this morning, still shaken from the awful news of the night before, I am grateful for my Faith.

I know that it will get me, and those I love, through this and through anything else life throws at us.

This is post is part of the October Thanksgiving Challenge. I will post a new Thank You blog post every day during the month of October. I encourage you to follow Kevin, the mastermind of this challenge at www.kevinolenick.wordpress.com and fellow blogger Natasha at www.naturalurbanmamas.com. And, if you're up to it, consider doing your own challenge, big or small, to remind yourself to focus on the many blessings in your life.  I've also added a slight 'writing' component to this month's challenge: No posts are to exceed 500 words.  

Thanksgiving Challenge #13: All in a day's work.

I recently read an article from Time Magazine's Newsfeed that intrigued me.  You can read it here: And the world's most educated country is...(thanks to Kathleen for sharing.)

It congratulates Canada for being the most educated country in the world. Amazingly enough, in ten short years, our post-secondary education has gone from 40% (of what I assume is the "adult" population) to 51%.  These numbers are remarkable, and place us a full 5% above our nearest competition. 

I loved being a student. It was one of the best experiences of my life.

However, as happy as I am to think of all the Canadians taking advantage of our phenomenal higher learning opportunities, a part of me reads this article with a critical, skeptical eye. 

For almost every pro, there is an equal and distinct con. 

Every year, I am growing more concerned by what appears to be a gap between university graduate job seekers and careers requiring this type of education.  I am witnessing many of my peers take on pseudo-"professional student" career paths, many extending their student years well beyond a decade. Eventually, most come out as highly qualified and successful doctors, lawyers and PHDs. However, a significant minority comes out with a lot of paper and no clear career direction in the slightest.  

I personally know at least a dozen university grads who are struggling to find gainful employment in *any* field, let alone one related to their education.  Others keep themselves stuck in dead end jobs because they don’t want to take a pay cut or a job that is beneath them.

The reality is that a bachelor's degree is no longer an "asset". It is par for the course, and doesn't carry the same weight as it used to. So don't expect an $80k starting salary just because you did well in school- those days are gone. You are now competing with the remaining 50% of the population that is just as- if not more- educated than you are. 

So my thanksgiving post today goes to my parents, who taught me the very important lesson of hard work. I was raised knowing that, if I wanted to succeed in my career, I would have to claw my way there. It would not be enough to simply have an education. I would need to prove that I had grown as an employee and had skills beyond acing exams. 

I have never struggled to find a good job, and have found excellent career mobility everywhere I went.  But my "path" hasn't always been a straight line, and I've had to work in jobs that seemed "beneath my education" as I built up my experience.  

And this is exactly what I needed to do to succeed in the long run. 

I can't take credit for my work philosophy. It’s the result of being raised with strong values of work ethic, reliability, seizing every opportunity, and having patience.  Without these,  I’d be lost, degree or no degree.

  

Word Count: 498

This is post is part of the October Thanksgiving Challenge. I will post a new Thank You blog post every day during the month of October. I encourage you to follow Kevin, the mastermind of this challenge at www.kevinolenick.wordpress.com and fellow blogger Natasha at www.naturalurbanmamas.com. And, if you're up to it, consider doing your own challenge, big or small, to remind yourself to focus on the many blessings in your life.  I've also added a slight 'writing' component to this month's challenge: No posts are to exceed 500 words.  

Thanksgiving Challenge #12: Fragile

I had my mid-pregnancy anatomy scan this morning.  

For most expectant moms, this is an exciting day! Many will "see" their babies for the very first time.  This is the moment that their pregnancy starts to feel "real". 

I remember that feeling. It was how I felt when I went in for Sammie's anatomy scan. 

February 5th, 2010. 

A day I'll never forget. 

It was a wonderful day. Our baby was so beautiful that we cried the whole time. 

We basked in our new parent-to-be joy for three days. 72 hours. And then it came crashing down. 

I received a phone call at work that would change my life forever. It was my doctor, telling me that the ultrasound has revealed "serious abnormalities." Usually, he would have asked us to come into his office but he was leaving for Mexico for two weeks and we had to "act quickly" if we were going to "do anything". 

My baby's heart had a pericardial effusion.  And there appeared to be effusions on his lungs, and 'unknown spots' on his brain as well. To make matters, the ultrasound also showed that he had a single umbilical artery.  All of these, combined with some complications with my own organs led my medical team to one, terrifying conclusion:  The baby had no hope of survival. 

Even if Sammie made it through the pregnancy, which we were told was doubtful, the chances of him being healthy enough to have a high "quality of life" were questionable.  

Standing there in my office, surrounded by my young staff, I was told by my doctor that we should strongly consider “termination”. 

Thankfully, Jason and I were agreed that termination not the right decision for us. After years of struggling with infertility, we simply could not ever envision willfully parting with our child. 

Most of you know the rest of the story.  After a traumatic end-of-pregnancy, resulting in my being hospitalized for over a month, Sammie was born prematurely.  

He was tiny. But he was perfect.  

No heart problems. No lung problems. No brain problems. 

No chronic life threatening diseases. No syndromes. No death-prognosis. 

Today, we as we went through our scan for BabyToo, the experience was quite different. The fear, the trepidation, the panic was palpable.  But in the end, the results were so much better.  With the exception of a few issues to follow up on, the scan came back clearly as: "You have a health looking baby". 

And while I'm thankful beyond belief for that information, a part of me is equally thankful for the experience that we gained from Sammie.  I think that the appreciation of the delicateness and fragility of the human life process is so much more real to me now than it ever could have been. I feel more connected now than I ever have before. 

I can not- will not- take my babies' health for granted ever again.  

And that's the deepest kind of gratitude. 

"Baby Too"- 19 Week Scan

Word Count: 500

This is post is part of the October Thanksgiving Challenge. I will post a new Thank You blog post every day during the month of October. I encourage you to follow Kevin, the mastermind of this challenge at www.kevinolenick.wordpress.com and fellow blogger Natasha at www.naturalurbanmamas.com. And, if you're up to it, consider doing your own challenge, big or small, to remind yourself to focus on the many blessings in your life.  I've also added a slight 'writing' component to this month's challenge: No posts are to exceed 500 words.  

Thanksgiving Challenge #11: "I get by...

...With a little help from my friends." ~The Beatles

I can be a pretty complicated person.

My mind works a little differently than most people.  So does my heart. And often, the two don't quite sync up the way that they're supposed to, leaving me at odds both with myself and with society in general.

For better or for worse, I've always felt a little removed from the world even when I'm right smack in the centre of a huge group of people.  I'm usually pretty good at faking it and pretending that I'm 100% comfortable standing amidst the crowd...but most of my time is spent looking for an exit strategy.

If this sounds a little bit like you, you might be an introvert too.

I get a lot of shock and surprise when I tell people that I am an INTJ. They somehow seem to think that just because I'm "good" with people and able to comfortably lead a crowd that this is fulfilling for me or even a dominant personality trait.  The truth is that I genuinely prefer to spend time alone, or in the company of other generally introverted people.

In my home, my husband, my mom and I are all INTJs.  Given that only about 1-4% of the population would fit this personality type that's actually quite surprising. And yet, in many ways, it's totally inevitable. Introverts tend to flock together.

Which brings me to my "thankful" topic of the day.

I am so lucky to be surrounded by friends and people who "get" me.

I spent most of my young life trying my very best to fit it. I dreamt of being a chameleon who could easily blend in with any group and any dynamic. I fantasized about what it would be like to be one of those 'easily liked' people who seemed to float through life without a care in the world.

I've also always known that I'm a polarizing figure. As loved as I am, I am often equally hated.  This is ok by me. I really have never felt the need for a lot of friends, and being loved by a few beats out being liked by many.

But this is the first time in my entire life where I can say that I feel 100% comfortable being who I am with the people that I love.

I love that I can tell them "I just need a few days to disappear" and they "get" it. I love that I can ask for emotional support because I have to brave West Edmonton Mall and go into the horrible, colourful, hugely overwhelming Disney Store.

For better or for worse, I'm surrounded by people who seem to understand how my brain works. And if they don't, then they're happy enough to pretend that they do and that’s just as good.

Being "just me" is a great feeling. I'm looking forward to the next two thirds of my life being spent that way.

Word Count: 498

This is post is part of the October Thanksgiving Challenge. I will post a new Thank You blog post every day during the month of October. I encourage you to follow Kevin, the mastermind of this challenge at www.kevinolenick.wordpress.com and fellow blogger Natasha at www.naturalurbanmamas.com. And, if you're up to it, consider doing your own challenge, big or small, to remind yourself to focus on the many blessings in your life.  I've also added a slight 'writing' component to this month's challenge: No posts are to exceed 500 words.  

Thanksgiving Challenge #10: Denouement

Today, I closed a door.

It's supposed to be "ajar", closed only temporarily, but the truth is that we never really know what will happen with closed doors.

Today, in a way, I bid farewell to the project that has been dominating my attention for two years.

Although I still have paperwork and transition documents to clean up, for some reason today felt more final than any other day.  It was my last "work appearance" for what will be at least 65 weeks.

I do have a few meetings to attend, none of these feel quite the same as what I did yesterday.

Yesterday, I said goodbye to the vendors of the farmers market. 

Some I said goodbye to over the phone. Many I sent emails to personally. Others, I was privileged to get to say goodbye in person. But, no matter what the medium, the message was the same.  

So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, good night...

Goodbye. 

Many of these faces have been with me since the start.  Many will be there when I return. But for some reason, it feels 'heavy' just the same. 

And with this heaviness comes the realization that my life is truly, and forever more, going to change dramatically very soon. 

My days of being a full time 'work at home' mom are drawing to an end.  With two young children to watch, I simply won't be able to justify the long hours spent at a computer any longer. I've learned that you really can only do one, maybe two things well at any given time. I am choosing wife and mother.  It's an easy choice. 

I know that my career will be there waiting for me when I do decide to return, whether that be after my mat leave or further down the road.  It will be dusty and in definite need of reconstruction and tender loving care, but the truth is that the knowledge, the experience and the skills I have acquired aren't going away.  They are simply going to sleep.  And when they wake up, rusty as they might be, they will be ready for me. 

And hopefully, I'll be more ready too. Renewed. Once again passionate. Once again engaged. 

In the meanwhile, I'm going to focus everything I have and everything I am into the only career choice that has ever really mattered to me: raising my children and caring for my family. 

And I am thankful for the opportunity. 

Word Count: 409

This is post is part of the October Thanksgiving Challenge. I will post a new Thank You blog post every day during the month of October. I encourage you to follow Kevin, the mastermind of this challenge at www.kevinolenick.wordpress.com and fellow blogger Natasha at www.naturalurbanmamas.com. And, if you're up to it, consider doing your own challenge, big or small, to remind yourself to focus on the many blessings in your life.  I've also added a slight 'writing' component to this month's challenge: No posts are to exceed 500 words.  

Thanksgiving Challenge: #9: Someone to watch over me...

October 9th is a special day in my life. It’s my brother’s birthday.

I think that most people who know us would agree that my brother and I, despite being almost polar-opposites, are exceptionally close. For a long time, it really felt like it was the two of us "against the world".  My parents had divorced when I was quite young, and my mother worked full time in a very high pressure job in one of the most demanding fields there is.  My father relocated to Edmonton which was a four hour (or five hour, depending on road conditions)  drive away.  Antoine and I were often left to fend for ourselves. 

We had our share of sibling rivalry- sometimes even pushing this term to extremes.  Our world had just fallen apart and we didn't know how to cope with the extraordinary changes happening all at once. Yet, even through all the rocky times, he was my protector and defender and I knew that no matter what happened, he would keep me safe. 

Somehow, through the years, the rivalry slipped away. Despite our rough patches along the way, our sibling relationship evolved into one of the most beautiful friendships I could hope for. We tell each other everything- or at least as much as would be appropriate to share between brother and sister- and we are always there for each other through thick and thin.  And despite being intensely different people, we somehow understand each other and balance each other out.  Our relationship is, in my opinion, a perfect blend of 'family', 'friend', and 'counterpart'. 

And today he turns 34. Wow.  

When did we grow up?

It feel likes yesterday that we were still a couple of children playing kick the can in the park. It's incredibly hard to believe that it's been over 20 years since those days were over.  They remain, in many ways, some of my happiest memories of all time. 

Antoine will have his work cut out for him if he plans on trying to top "33".  This really was his year. 

At 33, he proposed to and married to the woman of his dreams. 

At 33, he learned he was going to be a father and he witnessed the birth of his child. 

At 33, he solidified his career, transitioning away from being a corrections officer and finally becoming one of Edmonton's finest peace officers, an Alberta Sheriff.  

33 was the year that everything fell into place for him. 

And I could not be happier or more proud. 

Allow me to assure you that there is no person on the planet more deserving than the kind of happiness that has found Antoine at the age of 33.

So this year, my “happy birthday” truly is about celebrating the year that passed. And what a year it was. 

Can he top it? I hope he tries, and succeeds!

Bonne fete, Antoine. Thanks for always being there for me. 

Word count: 485

This is post is part of the October Thanksgiving Challenge. I will post a new Thank You blog post every day during the month of October. I encourage you to follow Kevin, the mastermind of this challenge at www.kevinolenick.wordpress.com and fellow blogger Natasha at www.naturalurbanmamas.com. And, if you're up to it, consider doing your own challenge, big or small, to remind yourself to focus on the many blessings in your life.  I've also added a slight 'writing' component to this month's challenge: No posts are to exceed 500 words.  

Thanksgiving Challenge #8: All the good things

There is so much to be grateful for this year that I hardly know where to start.

A beautiful, loving family. Wonderful supportive friendships. A roof over our heads. Food in our bellies. Happy memories in our hearts.  Exciting days to look forward to.

Truly, my life has never been better.

In 2012, we welcome two new members in our family. Our beautiful sister Heidi and my perfect nephew Nico.  And now, as we await "BabyToo", I am awed at how our family has grown and reached such a wonderful state of balance.

With great thankfulness should always come the great desire to share our blessings with the world. Thanksgiving always kick starts the beginning of the "holiday season" in our household, which is filled not only with celebrations, joy and laughter, but also with different family activities centered around giving back to our community and those less fortunate than we are. It's my favourite time of year, and truly a time that reconnects me with the greater meaning of "love".

So this Thanksgiving, I am particularly grateful to my mother, who taught me about humility, compassion, and love of our fellow man.  Every dollar and can we give is in large part owed to her ongoing positive influence in our lives.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

This is post is part of the October Thanksgiving Challenge. I will post a new Thank You blog post every day during the month of October. I encourage you to follow Kevin, the mastermind of this challenge at www.kevinolenick.wordpress.com and fellow blogger Natasha at www.naturalurbanmamas.com. And, if you're up to it, consider doing your own challenge, big or small, to remind yourself to focus on the many blessings in your life.  I've also added a slight 'writing' component to this month's challenge: No posts are to exceed 500 words.